My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
