What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so much tequila, so little girl.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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