theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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