I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize