why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
