plz talk dirty to me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
