I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
