So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
