i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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