Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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