i dedicated my morning wood to you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
