trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
