when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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