Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
