ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
