I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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