Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
