I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize