I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
