Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
