She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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