White coat. Heels.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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