Screwed.edu
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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