I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
