We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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