I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
