I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
