is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it hurts more in the daytime
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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