When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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