i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
