And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
