So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
