I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
