he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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