my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What a dumb baby whore.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
