im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
