ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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