it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
