we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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