no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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