so explain again why im purple
no
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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