My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
