after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
