you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize