what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize