good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dicks are not precious.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
