forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize