Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
