so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
