The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
