quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
