I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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