she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
