in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize