Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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