she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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