I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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