he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize