I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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